Distance
by Rachel500
Summary: Sam contemplates the difficulties of a long distance relationship with Jack on Valentine's Day...


Stargate SG1 is somebody else's, probably MGM/Gekko Corp/Sci-fi, and I freely admit that whoever's it is, I'm borrowing their show and they retain all rights, etc

**Author's Note:** This is Sam/Jack so if you don't like the pairing, please turn back now! Written for the Valenship Day held by the Sam/Jack thread over at Gateworld as the idea for this came out of a discussion there where I made the point that if the couple were in a long distance relationship that it didn't matter because there was no longer an emotional distance between them. I'm posting it too late for Valenship but I guess late is better than never! Set in early S9 just after the events of Beachhead and Ex Deus Machina but only has very small spoilers for that series. References to adult situations.

**Distance **

Aliens had no appreciation for Earth holidays, Samantha Carter grumbled to herself as she made her way out of the confines of Cheyenne Mountain and Stargate Command. She checked her watch anxiously. By her reckoning she would just make it back to the small apartment she rented in time to take Jack O'Neill's nightly call to her. She knew she could have stayed and taken the call from her lab at the SGC but it was Valentine's Day and she wanted to take _this_ particular call in private.

She grimaced as she climbed into her car and reversed smoothly out of her tight parking spot. She let her mind drift over the reason why the call was so important to her. Her relationship with Jack had changed in the last few months. On a long anticipated fishing trip to Jack's cabin, they had agreed that it was time to explore the feelings between them. Time because they had defeated the Goa'uld, defeated the Replicators, and Earth had been safe compared to the previous years of war and constant danger. More than that, both of them had come to the personal realisation that they still had the feelings that had developed between them – feelings they had tried to ignore and suppress given their military relationship and ranks.

It had been one of those rare moments of total clarity and timing; for the first time ever the military situation allowed them to consider their own futures at a point where both of them were actually on the same page about how they felt. Both of them knew it was a one-time opportunity; neither of them had been willing to let it pass by. She smiled at the memory…

_The cabin was great. Sam gave a sigh of contentment and leaned back in her chair on the dock. It was so quiet although Sam guessed that would change when Teal'c and Daniel arrived. She was pleased though to have the time with Jack alone. She glanced over at him at the way the sun glinted off his silver hair, the relaxed look on his tanned face as he focused on the pond in front of him. He suddenly looked at her as though he'd felt her eyes on him. _

_'What?' Jack asked. _

_'Nothing.' Sam bit her lip and looked away, a hint of heat in her cheeks that she had been caught staring at him. 'Just thinking.' _

_'About?' Jack dangled the word like bait. _

_'Us.' She'd surprised herself. Sam looked back at him nervously. It was the first time either of them had actually broached the topic so openly. _

_'Ah.' Jack's brown eyes held hers soberly. 'Us.' _

_'Us.' She repeated. Her heart was pounding uncomfortably loud in her chest. _

_Jack pressed his lips together and she was surprised at the flicker of vulnerability she caught before his gaze became guarded. 'You know you've been through a lot the past few weeks with Dad dying and…everything. Are you sure…' _

_'I'm sure.' Sam blurted out, cutting him off abruptly. Her blue eyes widened with a sudden thought that perhaps he'd changed his mind. 'Have you…are you…' she couldn't quite put her fear into words and her gaze dropped away from his. _

_Jack reached out and took hold of her hand. He squeezed it gently and she took a deep breath as she looked up again and met his eyes. 'I'm sure.' He said firmly. _

_Sam saw it then in his eyes; the same look of fierce love that had looked back at her through a force-shield once when she'd been trapped; the same look that had looked back at her when he'd confessed years before that he would rather die than lose her; the same look that had comforted her in an observation room as she had waited for her father to die. She let out a shaky breath and turned her hand over in his, tangling their fingers together. 'So what now?' _

_He tightened his grip. 'I'll talk to the President__.' _

And he had. She'd later learned he'd tried to retire but the Air Force hadn't been willing to let him leave the programme entirely and so they'd settled on a change of positions for both of them. Jack had gone to Homeworld Security as a military advisor to the President with oversight responsibility for all things Stargate related. She had initially moved from the SGC to command Stargate R&D. The positions had been suitably non-combatant for the Air Force to allow the exception to the fraternisation regulations on the basis of their specialised skills and knowledge being too valuable to lose. All of Sam's performance evaluations would be scrutinised closely to ensure there was no favouritism and the couple were encouraged to use discretion given Sam's previous promotions under his command. It was a solution but it had created a new challenge for their fledging relationship; distance.

Sam made the turning into her neighbourhood. Jack had gone to Washington first and with his departure their exception had gone into effect. They'd arranged to call each other every night; the distance gave them an opportunity to do nothing but talk. At first both of them had kept to safe topics but as the days passed, the subjects became more personal; they'd confided hope and fears. He'd spoken about the loss of his son; she'd confided her own more recent grief. It had subtly shifted their relationship from friends into something closer.

Their first date had been due to take place the week Sam had taken up her new command at Area 51. They'd agreed on a dinner in a nice restaurant not far from her rented apartment and close to Jack's hotel room. It had been an unmitigated disaster. She had been running late; so had he. They'd completely missed their reservation and when they had finally met up, they'd both been fractious as their nerves had gotten to them. They'd argued over what to do to rescue the situation and she had stormed out. She'd walked into her apartment miserable and then he'd called her…

_'Carter.' Her tone had been brisk and abrupt; all Sam wanted was a hot bubble bath and a glass of wine to drown her sorrows. _

_'Hey.' _

_Sam closed her eyes at Jack's voice and slumped onto the sofa. 'Hey.' She wondered if he could hear the tears that caught at the back of her throat. _

_'I'm sorry.' _

_Both of them spoke at the same time and Sam raised a reluctant smile. _

_'I shouldn't have walked out.' Sam said regretfully. _

_'I was an ass.' Jack admitted succinctly. _

_She laughed and the tension dissipated. 'It's just…' She trailed away unable to explain how perfect she had wanted it to be; how disappointed she had been at the reality. _

_'I know.' Jack said quietly. He cleared his throat. 'You want to try again? I'm back down in a couple of weeks.' _

_'I'd like that.' Sam murmured, twirling the cord between her fingers. _

_'OK, so…' Jack sighed. 'We'll talk tomorrow like always?' _

_'Tomorrow.' She had agreed. _

Sam knew in retrospect that they had both been too caught up in the idea of making it perfect; too frustrated that it hadn't been. But they had put it behind them and settled back into their routine. Their second date had gone more smoothly than their first. They had made their reservation; the food had been lovely; the ambience wonderful and…and it was though the sudden lack of physical distance between them had ironically created another kind of distance altogether. Sam had wondered if Jack was having second thoughts despite the phone calls and years of suppressed longing especially when he'd walked her back to her apartment…

_'You want to come in?' Sam asked absently, delving into the small black and gold glittery bag for her keys. She was hoping once they were in a more informal setting, they'd relax. _

_'I'd better not.' Jack rocked back on his heels. 'Early start tomorrow. I should head back to the hotel.' _

_'Oh.' Sam stared at him, unable to disguise her disappointment and surprise at his reply. _

_'Sam…' _

_'No, no, it's OK.' Sam hurried to reassure him. 'I mean, if you have an early start, I understand that you would…' _

_He kissed her. _

_Their first kiss as a real bona fide couple. _

_His hands had clasped her face before shifting; tugging her closer toward him. She'd let go of her keys and buried her hands in his hair. It was everything she had imagined it would be; everything she had ever wanted it to be; passionate, loving, tender…she could have sworn there were fireworks. _

_When he finally raised his head, she was dazed. He smiled smugly. He stooped and picked up her keys, opening her door and pushing her gently inside. He reached in and kissed her gently on the tip of her nose. ''Night, Carter.' He handed her the keys before he turned and walked away. _

_''Night.' She murmured and closed the door as he disappeared from view. _

It had given her hope for their third date which had taken place just before her recall to the SGC. They had settled on a movie and takeout at her apartment. Their initial awkwardness about being together _together _had gone, replaced by their usual relaxed flirting as they had demolished the food before settling on the sofa to watch the film. She could barely remember it…

_She was nestled firmly against Jack's body; her head on his shoulder, her body twisted so her legs lay over his lap. One of his arms was around her shoulders; the other rested over her legs. Their hands were clasped together. _

_She ignored the action on screen and snuggled. They'd never been so close before without the regulations between them. She breathed in the scent of him; the unique mix of cologne and Jack. His hand tightened on her thigh and she looked up at him quizzically to find him looking back down at her, his brown eyes darkened with the same knowledge. Her lips lifted to meet his as they descended. _

_Slow, drugging kisses that melted her insides and made her breathless. _

_A phone rang. _

_'For crying out loud.' Jack's annoyance had her smiling as he rested his forehead on hers. _

_'It's your phone.' She pointed out. _

_He sighed deeply and sheepishly removed his hand from under her t-shirt. He righted himself into a sitting position and reached for the cell phone on the coffee table. _

_'O'Neill.' He sounded as grumpy as she felt at the interruption and it brought a smile to her face. 'Mr President?' His hand crept to his head and rubbed through his messed-up silver hair. 'Sir, I…' He sighed. 'No, no. I understand.' He snapped the phone off and turned to look at her regretfully. _

_'You have to leave.' Sam realised. _

_'Some Goa'uld wants to come to the SGC. Apparently he has intel. Hayes wants me to advise.' He gestured quotation marks with the last word and pulled a face. 'They've got a chopper waiting for me at the hotel to take me straight back to __Washington__.' _

_She rubbed his shoulder. 'Anything I can do?' _

_His expression lightened and his eyes had twinkled at her. 'Kiss me goodbye.' _

_She grinned and reached up, her lips capturing his. The kiss was hard and fierce on both sides. _

_Jack got to his feet and waved her back onto the sofa. 'I'll call.' The sound of the closed door had her slumping back on the sofa… _

Of course, events had overtaken them after that – an attempt by their new enemy to establish a Supergate and her own recall to the SGC. They still had their exception to pursue a relationship; still had their nightly telephone calls but the plans for a fourth date had been put on hold while Jack was seemingly stuck in Washington.

Sam sighed; a small huff of frustration. Valentine's Day had popped up out of nowhere. She'd debated about sending a card. She and Jack had only gone through three dates after all. Of course, there had been some pretty fabulous kissing and the telephone calls were great but she wasn't entirely sure the sum of it constituted an actual full blown relationship that denoted the usual tradition of sending a Valentine's card. It seemed too complicated by the distance.

She remembered her words to Malcolm Barrett the week before when he'd asked her if she was single again: '_Not exactly.'_ Not exactly single but she wasn't exactly with Jack fully either. She guessed their current status was that nebulous description of dating. After much thought, she'd given in and sent a card.

She'd spent an hour in front of the display choosing it. Not too small to be forgettable or too big to be ostentatious. Sam had discarded anything too soppy or sentimental; it wasn't her and it wasn't Jack. She had finally picked a quirky card depicting two cartoon bears fishing off a pier with the simple words 'my Valentine' inside. She had scrawled her own words which had been as equally simple and to the point, and sent it to his Washington home address before she could change her mind. Hopefully, Sam mused, Jack had gone home and seen it by the time he called.

She checked the clock on the dash as she pulled up in front of her apartment building and grabbed her things. She hurried inside and took the elevator to the top floor. She stopped suddenly at the sight of the man sitting in front of her apartment door; a picnic basket and rucksack at his feet.

'Jack!' Sam dropped her things to hug him as he got to his feet at the sight of her.

Jack's arms closed around her tightly and he bent his head to kiss her. It was a few minutes before his brown eyes swept over her warmly. 'Surprise.'

Sam smiled at him brightly, her blue eyes roaming over him, at the familiar lines and planes of his face; the casual clothes of jeans, sweater and leather jacket he wore. She lit up with pleasure. 'I thought you were stuck in Washington.'

'The President personally authorised some leave for me.' Jack cupped her cheek, his thumb tracing her cheek bone. 'So here I am.'

Sam kissed him again. 'Here you are.'

Jack suddenly pulled away from her and snagged the picnic basket and bag he'd left on the floor. 'Come on.' He grabbed her hand and tugged her back down the corridor.

'Come on where?' Sam laughed. She allowed him to usher her back into her car and she acquiesced when he wangled the car keys from her. She settled back into the passenger seat and let him drive her. He drove out of town and into the countryside. They chatted about their various days on the way; sharing the minutiae of their lives. He stopped eventually at a secluded spot in the hills.

'How did you discover this place?' Sam asked as she helped him lay out a couple of blankets on the grassy ground. There was a great view of Colorado Springs; she could see Cheyenne in the distance.

'I did a lot of walking back when I was retired before I got pulled back into the programme.' Jack explained, gesturing at her to sit. 'I used to like coming up here to think about Charlie.'

'It's beautiful.' Sam commented quietly, honoured he would bring her somewhere that obviously meant something special to him.

'Yes.' Jack smoothed a lock of her hair back behind her ear as he sat behind her. 'It is.'

She smiled and reached for his hands as they slid around her waist. She leaned back against him as they watched the sunset in comfortable silence. He gently eased away as darkness descended and reached into the bag. He brought out a camping light. The yellow glow illuminated their picnic spot perfectly. He reached for the picnic basket.

'Hungry?' Jack asked.

She nodded and grinned when he passed her a small pot of blue jello and a bottle of beer. She noted he had a small red pot similar to her own. They made short work of the jello and sat drinking the beer.

'The stars are so bright.' Sam murmured, looking up at the blanket of lights that dotted the darkness.

'You can see everything here.' Jack admitted, pointing to a cluster of stars off to their right.

She shivered. Her outfit of an old, worn denim jacket, over a simple skirt and cotton shirt was too thin for the dropping temperature.

'Here.' Jack moved, sliding back to sit behind her again and settling her against his warmth. 'Better?'

Sam nodded, feeling his heat start to warm her. 'Much.'

'You know I had a plan.' Jack commented softly.

'A plan?'

'To take this slowly.' Jack elaborated. 'You've been through a lot…'

'Jack…' she tried to interrupt.

'and,' he continued insistently, 'I wanted to give you time but when I got your card…' he sighed. 'I figured it was time for plan B.'

'Plan B?' She repeated bemused.

He motioned at the bag. 'There's something in the bag for you.'

Sam leaned forward and reached into it, her hand closing around a familiar envelope. She frowned. It was the card she had sent to Jack. He'd evidently opened it because there was a clear line in the top of the envelope where a letter opener had made an incision.

'Open it.' Jack said quietly.

She glanced at him curiously but obediently pulled out the card – the same one she had sent him.

He kissed her softly. 'Read it.'

She opened it curiously. Her eyes landed first on her own scrawled message. It had been simple and to the point.

_'I love you. Always, Sam x' _

But her eyes quickly caught the additional text beneath.

_'I love you too. Always, Jack x' _

Her fingers traced over the words _'I love you too.'_ She turned in his arms. He was looking back at her seriously. She was suddenly nervous again; butterflies fluttering in her stomach. It was the first time, Sam realised; it was the first time either of them had actually expressed the three all important words. They'd known but they'd never said it. Not once in all their nights of telephone calls; not once during their three dates; not once in all the years they had loved each other. Yet she'd scrawled it in the Valentine's card without hesitation. Jack's hand cupped her cheek and her answering smile was wobbly as her nerves slipped away as easily as they had appeared.

'I've always been a big fan of plan B.' Sam said.

Jack's eyes darkened and he kissed her tenderly. Sam felt his hands on her skin and sighed; her own hands reached for him. The kisses shifted from tender to passionate; from lazy to urgent as they loved each other under the watching stars, and all of the distance between them disappeared.

**The End**


End file.
